Turn the page this instant! Otherwise, you might learn about Lemony Snicket, the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Snicket, also known as Daniel Handler, chronicles the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny. It is his dreadful duty to tell of their quest to escape their crooked uncle, Count Olaf. But Snicket advises readers to feel free to read something pleasant--if they prefer that sort of thing.
"It is my solemn vow to make these stories available to the general public," Snicket told TFK. "Though sometimes, it's difficult to rouse myself from weeping."
The Grim Grotto (Harper Collins), the 11th book in the Unfortunate Events series, goes on sale September 21. Snicket says he hopes no one will read the book or "learn any of the secrets the book contains."
Rapidly multiplying mushrooms, a mechanical monster and tap dancing are only a few of the horrors the orphans face in this installment. "The Grim Grotto takes place largely underwater, which is a dangerous place to encounter a deadly disease because there are few places to hide," says Snicket.
If you enjoy stories with unhappy beginnings, unhappy endings and hardly any happy things in between, then Snicket's books are for you. But don't harbor the hope that the orphans' fate will somehow change. Don't dream that Count Olaf will one day care for the orphans rather than continue his mission to steal their parents' fortune. That, my friends, is the stuff of fairy tales.
"The books that I write tell stories that are true, as far as I know," says Snicket. "If I encounter a story that has a happy ending, I will certainly write it down."