Ask Angela: Up at Night

Have questions? Angela Haupt connects with experts and shares their words of wisdom.

Angela Haupt is a health and wellness editor at TIME. She talks with experts about problems readers are having, then writes articles to share what she learns. Here, she offers tips on what to do when you have trouble getting to sleep.

I’m having a hard time sleeping at night. I have a lot on my mind! What can I do?

Sweet dreams feel far away when your mind is racing. An upcoming school presentation or sport tryout, an argument with a friend—the list of the worries that can keep you awake is endless. It doesn’t help when one of them is falling asleep! Experts say everyone experiences this issue at some point. It’s caused by “the decrease in the amount of distraction and activity we have going on,” says Michael G. Wetter, a director of psychology at UCLA Medical Center, in California. “Our mind goes off-road.”

So, what to do? Here are some expert tips for soothing nighttime worries.

Carve out “worry time.”

An hour before bed, set a timer. Spend five minutes making two lists. On the first, put everything you’re worried about that’s within your control. On the other, put things you can’t do anything about.

Put the first list in your backpack to help inform your to-do list tomorrow. Then, advises psychologist Leah Kaylor, tear up the second: “You’re telling your brain, ‘I heard you, and now I need you to hear me. We can’t do anything about this.’”

Do some (positive) mental exercise.

Clearing your mind isn’t always the right approach. Instead, try distracting yourself with mental exercises. Kaylor’s favorite: Imagine every detail from a beloved TV show, movie, or book. “It gives your brain something to do” other than worry, she says.

Use your senses.

Keep something by your bed, such as a smooth stone. Hold it if you start to feel anxious. Or try sipping on cool water or listening to soft music. Your senses can put you at ease, Wetter says.

Keep a “comfort script” nearby.

Wetter also suggests keeping a written note with a calming message by your bed. This can help you settle down. It might say something like, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Save it for later.

Worries often feel bigger at night. Wetter suggests telling yourself, “If this feels urgent in the morning, I’ll deal with it then.”

If you have a question you’d like Angela to answer, send it to tfkeditors@time.com.