Ask Angela: Bounce Back

October 28, 2026

Angela Haupt

Have questions? Angela Haupt connects with experts and shares their words of wisdom.

Angela Haupt is a health and wellness editor at TIME. She talks with experts about problems readers are having. Then she writes articles to share what she learns. Here, she writes about what to do when you make a mistake.

I said something awkward at school. I’m feeling embarrassed. How can I apologize?

We all make mistakes. Sometimes, you’re making one. Sometimes, it’s someone else. I spoke with etiquette experts to learn how you can dig yourself out of an awkward situation—and when you should take a breath and let it go.

Pause and consider.

After saying something you regret, you might turn red with embarrassment. Then you might feel the urge to keep talking. People often try to defend or excuse an unfortunate remark, says Karina Schumann. She’s a psychologist. You should put aside your need to explain yourself, she says: “Think, ‘If I were on the receiving end of this, what would I need to hear?’”

Pause. Note the impact of what you said. Then take responsibility. Schumann suggests phrasing it like this: “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.” Or: “I can see my joke wasn’t funny. I apologize.” Then take a breath. More words can come later.

Match your apology to the mistake.

Call someone by the wrong name? A quick “Sorry about that!” is enough. Hurt someone’s feelings? That might call for more. An explanation can sometimes make what happened easier to understand, Schumann says. Lead with: “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Then ask whether an explanation would be helpful.

Resist making repeated apologies.

For a minor blunder, one sincere apology is enough. “The more you apologize, the more it’s about you,” Lizzie Post says. She’s copresident of the Emily Post Institute and a great-great-granddaughter of the famous etiquette expert.