Ask Angela: Up at Night

Have questions? Angela Haupt connects with experts and shares their words of wisdom.

Angela Haupt is a health and wellness editor at TIME. She talks with experts about readers’ problems, then writes articles to share what she learns. Here, she offers tips on what to do when you have trouble getting to sleep.

I’m having a hard time sleeping at night. I have a lot on my mind! What can I do?

Sleep feels far away when your mind is racing. A school project or tryout, an argument with a friend—the list of worries that can keep you awake is endless. Experts say everyone has this issue at some point. It’s caused by “the decrease in the amount of distraction and activity” at night, says Michael G. Wetter. He’s a director of psychology at UCLA Medical Center, in California. So, what to do? Here are some expert tips for soothing nighttime worries.

Carve out “worry time.”

Before bed, spend five minutes making two lists. On the first, put everything you’re worried about that’s within your control. On the other, put things you can’t do anything about.

Put the first list away. It can start your to-do list tomorrow. Then, says psychologist Leah Kaylor, tear up the second. “You’re telling your brain, ‘I heard you, and now I need you to hear me. We can’t do anything about this.’”

Do some (positive) mental exercise.

Try some mental exercises. Kaylor’s favorite: Imagine every detail from a favorite TV show, movie, or book. “It gives your brain something to do” other than worry, she says.

Use your senses.

Keep something by your bed, such as a smooth stone. Hold it if you feel anxious. Try sipping on cool water or listening to soft music. Your senses can put you at ease, Wetter says.

Keep a “comfort script” nearby.

Wetter also suggests keeping a calming note by your bed. It might say something like, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Save it for later.

Worries often feel bigger at night. Wetter suggests telling yourself, “If this feels urgent in the morning, I’ll deal with it then.”

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